I reconnected with a friend after two decades. He said ,”You have become bold”. I didn’t understand at first then I realized he still remembered me as a shy young girl. But after talking to me for a few minutes he realized I had taken some very big steps. Too big in fact for someone as shy as Moi.
I cant help but quote Anais Nin,”There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I still remember when I took that giant leap of faith and bought myself a one way ticket to another country. There were certain incidents in my life that preceded and lead to this event of course. But living abroad was all I could think of. I felt the real me was going to unfold once I set foot on foreign soil. It hadn’t occurred to me what it was going to be like to be away from my family. I was so caught up in the excitement of starting a new life that I hadn’t given it much thought. I still remember I kept waving good bye until I got to the customs line. I turned around to say one final good bye but they were gone. I never felt so alone in my whole life.
As reality sunk in, I gasped for breath, had a sinking feeling in my stomach, dark clouds of self doubt started to gather quickly around me- was I doing the right thing? What if things went wrong? I had the privilege to be part of a loving and caring family. Was I insane to walk away from them? What was I thinking? I remembered all the negative things some folks had said when I shared my dream with them. What if their hurtful words came true? Was I about to make a complete fool of myself? And then someone called my name. In that moment I decided I was not going to start my new life with doubt in my heart. As I walked over to the security check area in a daze, I muttered under my breath, ” Not only am I going to be fine I am going to thrive.” That was it. I never looked back.8 years later I have no regrets. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and loving every minute of it.
What I learnt from my experience is –
1. Don’t be afraid to have a dream.
2. Don’t listen to naysayers. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet”- Mahatma Gandhi
3. No matter how far fetched your dream may seem to others remember all things are possible for the one who believes
4. To find yourself think for yourself- Socrates
5. If things go wrong don’t give up. Pick yourself up and start over again.
6. Don’t worry about what others think. People will always find something to criticize. You don’t need their permission to be yourself.
7. Follow your heart. Be true to yourself.
8. What others say does not define you. So don’t put limits on yourself based on other peoples limited perception of you.
9. Always look on the bright side. Let go of hurt and pain quickly if possible. Allow yourself to heal and keep moving forward
10. Have faith in yourself and know that things will get better
Most importantly enjoy the journey, make some friends, share your story, inspire others. Before you know it you will be living your dream because time goes by quickly anyway 🙂
©2015, Vani Murthy. All rights reserved