A gift of healing

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“Dear Dad, I love you and miss you every day”

It’s been about 22 years since my dad passed and for most of those 22 years I went without speaking of his passing. Just the thought of it would make me physically ill and it felt like someone had reached in and ripped my heart out.

Early this year while mentoring kids at a homeless shelter in LA one of the kids shared about their struggle to cope with the responsibility of taking care of a sick parent and younger siblings, financial problems, having to miss school etc. I thought I was looking at my younger self asking my older self for help to deal with it all and that was the first time words started pouring out of me about his passing. All I remember is shaking like a leaf, my heart pounding as I shared my pain and encouraged her. I still don’t remember everything  I said but it lead to much healing for myself and others that were listening. I know my dad had reached out  from the other side and had not only given me a gift of healing but had made sure his memory served the purpose of healing and helping others . Now that I think about it I can’t help but smile. ..yup that’s my dad …always helping people…even from the other side 🙂

I am doing well now but its still hard to deal with emotions when I think of him. I met my husband early this year. He and I both have lost a parent at a young age. I guess that’s why we bonded quickly. Both of us understood the pain, grief  and suffering over losing a loved one early in life. I remember coming home and talking to my dad about him, chuckling and teasing my dad that he had been busy in heaven match making.  As the relationship progressed I spent lone time talking to my dad  asking for his blessings. I know he was present with us the day we got married at the Court house. I now fondly share his memories with my husband and my new family. My voice still quivers when I speak of him but instead of feeling sad I feel proud and very blessed that he was my dad.

 I love you dad! So long until we meet again 🙂

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