If nothing changed there would be no butterflies- Walt Disney
Just saw this quote today and I thought what a wonderful way to look at changes.Transition is not easy. It is physically and mentally draining. Over the years I had to cope with changes that came with losing loved ones to illness, moving to a different country, finishing school, changing jobs, apartments and cities, relationship changes, and had to start afresh several times. Through it all I have learnt to do the following-
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms – My inability to cope has caused much emotional turmoil and physical illness in the past. After several years of stumbling around blinded by pain I turned to scriptures looking for answers and trying to find meaning and purpose for it all. Some of my questions were answered some not but I am sure the answers will come in time. Perhaps I am not ready yet. But it brought me much peace and understanding and so now I pray, meditate and read positive, uplifting books, work out, listen to uplifting tapes or videos. I literally pump positive words into my soul everyday and sometimes all day.
- Speaking out– Instead of just internalizing my emotions out of fear of judgment I learnt to let it out by writing in my journal, speaking to friends and family, sharing my experiences as a mentor. The more I shared the more I realized that every emotion I felt was normal. There was nothing wrong with me. And with that understanding I learnt to accept and love myself more. My sharing also encouraged others to share and brought much healing to us all.
- Cope with my fears– The more I resisted change it I felt like I was stopping things from coming into my life because of my fears. Slowly I began to notice that the things I feared never really happened. They were just projections of an anxious mind and were not REAL. So I started to get hopeful and excited about the possibilities headed my way. Whether good or bad, experiences are the fabric of life that weave a colorful and beautiful story over time. I learnt to accept change without fear and embrace it with open arms.
- Keep my sense of humor alive – I learnt to believe that no matter what happens its all good. Whatever it was at least I got a story out of it! I got some good material to share for some fun moments with friends 🙂
- Understand that change is constant– I guess we get comfortable with routine and a certain predictability in life. But when I look back the only thing that was really predictable was change! I am not living a life I planned. Life planned changes that brought me to this place where I am today.
- Change is necessary – Some changes were easy some not but they were all necessary so I can grow emotionally and spiritually. Having understood this it was easy to let go of the hurt and pain. I felt lighter, more free and ready for my next adventure in life.
- Be patient- It takes time for things to fall into place. It is not easy while you are waiting for your dreams to come true or healing from pain. Whenever I got anxious it didn’t really help. It would block my mind.I couldn’t think clearly and couldn’t see possibilities in front of me. Once I learnt to cope with changes better, patience slowly followed. I learnt to enjoy my life and stay in that place of peace while life continued to unfold around me slowly leading me to where I am supposed to be.
- Control my reaction- I had no power or control over situations or people. The only thing I can control is my reaction. So I learnt to look at the big picture, forgive myself for getting upset, change my thoughts from negative to positive, learn to look at the bright side in every situation, pray, meditate and take good care of myself. In other words I put myself first. everything else came later. My mental health became my priority and it still is.
Looking back I am grateful for all the changes because they have made me the person I am today. I know I am morphing into a beautiful butterfly 🙂
©2015, Vani Murthy. All rights reserved